Let’s talk. Talk the only way you and I can actually talk. I’ll speak, you listen. You don’t know me yet, but you will. It will take time of course, you may have to read many of my posts, but that shouldn’t be very hard. If it is difficult for you, well, I am sure you can make it through such a tremendous trial *Sarcasm*. This will however be much more of a one-sided relationship. I do not believe that I will ever really know you, the reader. Not in this way at least, not in the intimate way that you will get to know me. You will have the opportunity to listen to the whispers of the darkest corners of my heart. Well, at least occasionally. I won’t always speak of dramatic or romantic things when I write, I am simply in a mood at the moment. Everyone has those, right? Sometimes you just want to dance under the moonlight with a lover, study the stars as if it’s your first time doing so, just taking in life in its purest moments. That mood, you know that one don’t you? If not I encourage you to learn about it. Take time to smell the flowers, as the saying goes.
Life is beautiful because life is small. We are small, but we have the potential to be so large. Interesting thing that potential of our souls. Someone can be full of so much nothingness, so much of a void, yet they have the opportunity to become a shining star. If my writing is coming off as very poetic, dramatic, and romantic, it is probably because I am a very poetic, dramatic, and romantic person.
You don’t know me though. I mean, you are probably summing me up right now. That is fine, but let me help you with this process a little bit by giving you some basic information about who I am. My name is David Lehi Sagastizado. I am the 7 child of Tammy Sagastizado. I am her youngest living son. I am 21 years old. I love what love is, and love to give love to everyone I meet. So yes that does mean I will love you too. Despite your flaws, despite your weaknesses, despite the things you find ugly in yourself, you deserve love. Everyone does. I know my love may not be what you need or want right now, but it is here. In the times where you think that you don’t think anyone loves you, prove yourself wrong and say
“Uh, actually, that random guy online said he loves me.” Then laugh to yourself, let the tears slide down your face as you receive a bit of relief from that overwhelming sadness. I know I can’t do much from here, I can’t help that sadness leave completely, but I hope in some way I do help you. Even if you read my words simply to insult them, to show to a friend and laugh, that is enough for me. Even if you think my writing is ridiculous and foolish, that of a fool, then so be it. Maybe it will help you vent a little, maybe it will make you feel better about yourself. That doesn’t matter to me. You will always have my love, even when you do me wrong.
Hopefully I am not coming on too strong. I tend to do that. I am very much all in man. When I love, it is completely and totally, poems written to sing the songs of my heart that I can’t quite find the rhythm for to sing out loud. When I am sad, I am drowned in waves of my own self-loathing, torn apart by the idea that I am not good enough. For now, I am excited for what we will create together. It may just be one other person that ever reads my writing, and that is enough for me. I hope that I can be enough for you.
Until we meet again, may the sun shine brightly on your path, and may your blessings be well lit.