Oh, I had
to write something today before I go crazy. Writing is very calming for me and
at times once I put something down on paper, it helps to release the tension I
am feeling and helps me to have a better perspective on things.
As the rest
of the US, we have been locked into frigid temperatures, snow, ice, and cold,
gloomy, cloudy days. I think most people are stir crazy and are ready for a
peek of spring.
But worse,
is that we have an ongoing issue that has reached its climax and has me
distraught, feeling frustrated, and let down. This issue is now robbing me of
my ability to sleep, has raised my blood pressure, and has given me a backache
that will not go away.
Even my
husband is upset. He spent the whole day cleaning the house and has been
working outside like crazy. This is his way to deal with stress, but I know he
hasn’t slept well, either.
Usually, I
handle stress really well. Nine children and all that accompanies that, taking
care of my mom, etc. has given me many opportunities through the years to learn
patience and to accept things that I thought I could never accept.
However,
all the normal stress relievers that I normally employ, such as: exercise,
breathing techniques, stretching, long hot baths, and so on are not working at
all. I am teary eyed, want to cry at the smallest things, and am exhausted by
troubled thoughts and dreams. The thing
that bothers me the most is that this issue could have been resolved long ago,
but the blame game started and now it has reached a point where any conclusion
is difficult. I write
about this in my book on Critical Thinking –that for some; blaming others for
poor judgment becomes their escape and then they try to find new ways to blame
or hide their own poor decision making. And then the issue becomes that such
judgments hurt others or makes their lives more difficult.
Everything
we do affects others and has an impact. Just as when we throw a rock in a lake
the ripples continue outward and keep moving…the ripples we create in our lives
touch and affect others as well.
I am trying
to stay calm, but writing this has actually upset me more. I am so frustrated
at this point that I just had a spasm in my back. I think I will just go the chiropractor,
try to find a good book to take my mind off the whole thing (maybe it is time
to reread, Pride and Prejudice…will Mr. Darcy take my mind off this?)
Well, one
more week and this issue will have resolved itself; for either the good or the
bad. And then I will just have to accept whatever outcome was wrought and then
move on from there. Se la vie.
 I do have to admit the snow is pretty and does clean the air.  And the children have really enjoyed their snow days... |
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