Forget Me Not
A while ago I was walking through a beautiful garden with my wife and daughter. I marveled at the glory and beauty of God’s creation.
And then I noticed, among all the glorious blooms, the tiniest flower. I knew the name of this flower because since I was a child I have had a tender connection to it.
The flower is called forget-me-not.
I’m not exactly sure why this tiny flower has meant so much to me over the years.
It does not attract immediate attention; it is easy to overlook among larger and more vibrant flowers; yet it is just as beautiful, with its rich color that mirrors that of the bluest skies—perhaps this is one reason why I like it so much.
And there is the haunting plea of its name. There is a German legend that just as God had finished naming all the plants, one was left unnamed.
A tiny voice spoke out, “Forget me not, O Lord!” And God replied that this would be its name.
Tonight I would like to use this little flower as a metaphor. The little forget-me-not flower prompts me to consider several concepts we would be wise never to forget.
Forget not to be patient with yourself.
You and I are not perfect. Let me add: that the people we think are perfect are not.
And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others—usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths.
This drives us to create expectations for ourselves that are impossible to meet. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does.
Everyone has strengths and weaknesses.
It’s wonderful that we have strengths.
And it is part of our life experience that we do have weaknesses.
Our goal is to eventually turn all of our weaknesses into strengths, but this is a long-term goal. It is okay that we are not quite yet there. Keep working on it, but stop punishing yourself.
Many are endlessly compassionate and patient with the weaknesses of others. But please remember also to be compassionate and patient with yourself.
Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.
An acceptable sacrifice is when we give up something good for something of far greater worth.
Giving up a little sleep to help a child who is having a nightmare is a good sacrifice.
We all know this. Staying up all night, jeopardizing our own health, to make the perfect accessory for a daughter’s outfit may not be such a good sacrifice.
Every person and situation is different, and a good sacrifice in one instance might be a foolish sacrifice in another.
How can we tell the difference for our own situation?
We can ask ourselves, “Am I committing my time and energies to the things that matter most?”
There are so many good things to do, but we cannot do them all.
Forget not to be happy now.
In the beloved children’s story Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the mysterious candy maker Willy Wonka hides a golden ticket in five of his candy bars and announces that whoever finds one of the tickets wins a tour of his factory and a lifetime supply of chocolate.
Written on each golden ticket is this message: “Greetings to you, the lucky finder of this Golden Ticket … ! Tremendous things are in store for you! Many wonderful surprises await you! … Mystic and marvelous surprises … will … delight, … astonish, and perplex you.” 1.
In this classic children’s story, people all over the world desperately yearn to find a golden ticket.
Some feel that their entire future happiness depends on whether or not a golden ticket falls into their hands. In their anxiousness, people begin to forget the simple joy they used to find in a candy bar. The candy bar itself becomes an utter disappointment if it does not contain a golden ticket.
So many people today are waiting for their own golden ticket—the ticket that they believe holds the key to the happiness they have always dreamed about.
For some, the golden ticket may be a perfect marriage; for others, a magazine-cover home or perhaps freedom from stress or worry.
There is nothing wrong with righteous desires —the problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event—our golden ticket—to appear.
One woman wanted more than anything else to marry a good man and be a mother and a wife. She had dreamed about this all her life, and oh, what a wonderful mother and loving wife she would be.
Her home would be filled with loving-kindness. Never a bitter word would be spoken. The food would never burn. And her children, instead of hanging out with their friends, would prefer to spend their evenings and weekends with Mom and Dad.
This was her golden ticket. It was the one thing upon which she felt her whole existence depended. It was the one thing in the entire world for which she most desperately yearned.
But it never happened. And, as the years went on, she became more and more withdrawn, bitter, and even angry. She could not understand why God would not grant her this righteous desire.
She worked as an elementary school teacher, and being around children all day long simply reminded her that her golden ticket had never appeared. As the years passed she became more disappointed and withdrawn.
People didn’t like being around her and avoided her whenever they could. She even took her frustration out on the children at school. She found herself losing her temper, and she swung between fits of anger and desperate loneliness.
The tragedy of this story is that this dear woman, in all her disappointment about her golden ticket, failed to notice the blessings she did have. She did not have children in her home, but she was surrounded by them in her classroom.
She was not blessed with a family, but the Lord had given her an opportunity few people have—the chance to influence for good the lives of hundreds of children and families as a teacher.
The lesson here is that if we spend our days waiting for fabulous roses, we could miss the beauty and wonder of the tiny forget-me-nots that are all around us.
This is not to say that we should abandon hope or temper our goals. Never stop striving for the best that is within us. Never stop hoping for all of the righteous desires of your heart.
But do not close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life.
The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments.
They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives.
These are they who are truly happy.
Forget not in providence.
As a child, when I would look at the little forget-me-nots, I sometimes felt a little like that flower—small and insignificant. I wondered if I would be forgotten by my family or by God.
Years later I can look back on that young boy with tenderness and compassion. And I do know now—I was never forgotten.
And I know something else:—neither are you!
You are not forgotten.
Wherever you are, whatever your circumstances may be, you are not forgotten.
No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, God has not forgotten you.
In fact, He loves you with an infinite love: A love that can dress any wound, heal any hurt, and soften any sorrow.
There is something inspiring and sublime about the little forget-me-not flower.
I hope it will be a symbol of the little things that make your lives joyful and sweet.
Please never forget that you must be patient and compassionate with yourselves, that some sacrifices are better than others that you need not wait for a golden ticket to be happy.
And never forget that God knows, loves, and cherishes you.
1. Roald Dahl, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (1964), 55–56.
An edited talk by Dieter F. Uchtdorf
For complete article: http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng&query=forget+me
