Put It Away - Discipline

Put It Away - Organization at Work or Home

TEACHING VALUES THROUGH DISCIPLINE

Practical Discipline

Also see: Conflict Resolution Theory: A View of the Home Organization

Each child is so different in personality, temperament, and learning style, that to plan to use one method for all is ridiculous. I had one child that all you had to do was look harshly at him and he would burst into tears and never commit the act again. I had another that in a battle of wills, won, when I was afraid to punish him again for fear of actually causing him harm. (And is now married with a daughter who appears to have the same dominate will, HA!)

Thus, through trial and error and the reading, listening, and questioning of those parents who have weathered successfully, the stormy side of parenting, I have learned several important concepts.

"The anxieties in our lives relate to the sand passing through the hourglass. Man is the only time-conscious creature. Man alone can recall the accumulation of his past in such a way that it bears heavily on the present moment.

Man is also the only creature who can bring the future into the present in such a manner as to imagine it as if it were happening now. And because man can bring the past to the present with his memory, and his future to the present with his imagination, he can also bring unhappiness to his life through excessive dwelling on past failures and an overindulgence in the prospects of future failures”. (Burden 21)

This is so true, especially in parenting. You yell at your child and punish him, and then find out he was innocent. Other episodes and failures undermine your example; it is easy to give up or slacken the bit, believing that it is too late or not worth the effort anyway.

But in parenting, a positive self-image and the ability to separate failure to be perfect from one's daily character are imperative.

Never give up; wise words during a war, but even wiser to the parent who is battle weary.(As I am, turning fifty this year !#$ and thinking of how many years I still have to have teens in the house....oh...did I say that aloud? Of course, my six year old daughter reassures me that she will NOT be like her older, 17 year-old sister and that she will let Papi and I choose her husband...)

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The 90/10 Principle

The 90/10 PrincipleWhat is this Principle?10% of life is made up of what happens to you90% of life is decided by how you reactWhat does this mean? We really have NO control over 10% of w...

Remember that all discipline should lead to self-mastery, and that after you discipline, you need to afterwards show increased love...

Watch this video: Is your child one that one give a hug or walk by? Children learn by example...give more hugs!

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Free Hugs Campaign - Official Page (music by Sick Puppies.net )

Download the "Free Hugs" soundtrack here: Sick Puppies New Album Tri-Polar Available Now!http://www.itunes.com/sickpuppies Get your "Free Hugs" t-shirts here:http://www.bandmerch.com/freehugsc...

Toward the end of my

first pregnancy,

I had told my

Mother-in-law

of all my

wonderful plans for

disciplining my future

children. She just sat

there and nodded her

head knowingly and

smiled.

Now after having had

nine children

I do the same.

Teaching values through discipline is perhaps the most challenging, and yet at the same time, the most rewarding of the parenting aspects.

It is the most challenging because you are working with a child whose perception is changing constantly.

You are traveling on a road where you have never been, you are at the whims of the child's personality, and you feel alone, against the forces of today's world.

These same challenges, when overcome, become the rewards to the parent.

As you work with your children, they become your friends (though it might not be till they're married)and you and they learn to respect all types of people.

Teaching and being an example opens new vistas and opportunities, and adapting to each other's differences, teaches patience and perseverance.

Sometimes, it is better to walk

away from a situation, but

other times it is better to

confront it and try to turn it

into a teaching moment.

Wisdom is knowing

what to do...

when...

and

wisdom

is hard to come by.

One of the greatest gifts we

can give our children is to help them become masters of

themselves and the virtue of

patience is paramount!

The dilemma I see in our

society today is many parents

think THEYare to have the

patience and put up with a

self-centered, whinny,

spoiled brat.

Au contraire! You teach your

child patience by

with-holding

immediate gratification.

Teaching them to sit politely,

wait to be spoken to, serve

others first, etc.

Tell your child that you would

not be a good mommy if you

buy him the toy and that he

has to wait until the 10th visit

to the store with you, and

then, and only if he has been

patient and polite...will you buy him the toy.

Use this scenario over and over

again. Teach them to wait until they have saved the money.

Allow others to go in front of

you at the check out line.

Help someone out while waiting in the doctor's office. As you

are an example of

graciousness. Waiting

patiently...

your child will learn.

Let me share a secret, too.

Children, behave better when

they receive less material

items.

The more they receive

materially...

the harder it is to get them to

behave.

(Adults are the same...

when we receive

something for nothing

we tend to become

more selfish.

However, when we have to

EARN what we recieve...

we value it more.....)

SO--Make your child

EARN what they receive...

and "EARN" (By practicing)

PATIENCE!

Values must be lived and displayed, not just preached. In our home if an article, movie, TV show, and so forth, is inappropriate for the children, then it is considered inappropriate for the parents.

Values are practiced daily through the disciplines of service, reading the word of God, prayer, church attendance, obedience, restitution, and love. Nagging, threats, negative comments, coercion, and so on are not aspects of a disciplined person, and therefore are eliminated (an ongoing, never ending process...as they keep creeping back in).

Someone once said that your children will reflect your values so make sure they are virtuous one and not negative ones. Parents too, tend to tolerate many negative aspects of their children, believing that they will out grow them or in time they will learn to choose the correct way, but we believe that true discipline is of oneself and that it is made up of hundreds of habits that are usually formed in childhood.

As home administrator's, our task therefore, is to instill virtuous habits in our children while very young, so that they may carry these traits into adulthood and achieve true discipline. Hence, true discipline is that of a disciple, not a form of punishment.

OKAY This was theory...now for some of the PRACTICAL.

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